Please update your blogrolls and shortcuts to point to:
http://voenixrising.com
This blog will stay up as an archive, but all my current blogging will be taking place at the new address.
Please update your blogrolls and shortcuts to point to:
This blog will stay up as an archive, but all my current blogging will be taking place at the new address.
Posted in Blogging | Leave a Comment »
In honor of World AIDS day, I’m reposting this from last year:
In memoriam: the friends and lovers who are no longer here to brighten my life:
![]() Dennis Shelpman |
![]() Steve Golden |
Kent Kelly |
Ken Cohen |
Peter Whitman |
David Koston |
Chuck Krahe |
Ric Hathaway |
Kevin Ohm |
Ron Aiazzi |
Jim Nye |
Rick King |
Marty Kamner |
Michael Nelson |
| Ken Borg |
Harold Gates |
|
Jim Girard |
Scott Woods |
|
Bobby Farina |
Brian Lea |
|
Fred Sibinic |
Steve McCollom |
|
Tom Farrell |
Chuck Mayer |
|
Richard Gulliver |
Keith Roseberry |
|
John Trapp |
Grant Neilsen |
|
Ben Walzer |
Philip Ruckdeschel |
Posted in Uncategorized | 8 Comments »
I need time to regroup. I may still throw up an occasional hottie, or comment on something particularly relevant, but I’m going to take a much needed break and see if my literary muses return. I never thought I’d reach the point where I didn’t have anything meaningful to say, but that day has arrived.
Peace out.
Posted in Blogging | 15 Comments »
Posted in Hot Menz, Men Kissing | 7 Comments »
Stolen from Erik’s Facebook:
1. Wrapping paper or gift bags?
Depends on the gift that’s going in it. Aren’t some things just designed to go in a gift bag?
2. Real tree or Artificial?
None of the above. I haven’t put up a tree since 2001 and gave all the family heirloom ornaments to my sister—who positively orgasms Christmas.
3. When do you put up the tree?
See #2.
4. When do you take the tree down?
See #2.
5. Do you like eggnog?
One glass a year is usually enough.
6. Favorite gift received as a child?
It would have to be the model of the Saturn V rocket I received the year of the moon landing.

Yes, I was a major geek.
7. Hardest person to buy for?
Dad
8. Easiest person to buy for?
Lee
9. Do you have a nativity scene?
Umm… no. What does Xmas have to do with Jeebus?
10. Mail or email Christmas cards?
Real mail, thankyouverymuch.
11. Worst Christmas gift you ever received?
Those memories have been wiped to provide storage for more important information.
12. Favorite Christmas Movie?
The original Grinch, of course. Puleeze.
13. When do you start shopping for Christmas?
At some point after Thanksgiving and before Christmas.
14. Have you ever recycled a Christmas present?
You mean regifting? Never.
15. Favorite thing to eat at Christmas?
Turkey.
16. Lights on the tree?
See #2.
17. Favorite Christmas song?
I’m usually sick of them all by December 1st, but if I had to choose one, I’d say Carol of the Bells.
18. Travel at Christmas or stay home?
Stay home.
19. Can you name all of Santa’s reindeer?
Does it matter? I can’t name the characters in the Bible either, and they’re about as real as the reindeer.
20. Angel on the tree top or a star?
See #2.
21. Open the presents Christmas Eve or Christmas morning?
Eve.
22. Most annoying thing about this time of the year?
All of it! Ugh.
23. Favorite ornament theme or color?
See #2.
24. Favorite for Christmas dinner?
Umm, wasn’t that asked on #15?
25. What do you want for Christmas this year?
I have no idea. When I need something, I go buy it (if I can afford it). I do the same for others. Why should there be a “special” holiday just for that?
26. Who is most likely to respond to this?
Why does this question even get listed?
27. Who is least likely to respond to this?
What I said on my previous answer.
Yes, as you can tell—I’m one of those people.
Posted in Memes | Leave a Comment »
Happy Thanksgiving to everyone who’s celebrating today!
Today I am thankful for many things (in no particular order):
And lastly…
Posted in Things to Be Thankful For | 2 Comments »

This charming little group was at the IHOP I stumbled into after my less-than-stellar downtown photoshoot this evening. The topic of their loud conversation? Why, gay marriage, of course. The guy with his back toward me was actually arguing in favor of it, while the two Neanderthals facing me (the one on the right I initially thought to be gay) were arguing fervently against, pulling out every ridiculous, disproven justification for their bigotry they could come up with. I guess I must’ve been rolling my eyes pretty loudly, because Mr. Shaved Head started giving me dirty looks after he hauled out the tired old man-on-horse routine: “Well what if I want to marry a horse?” (It’s obvious your wife already did—or at least a horse’s ass.)
Meanwhile, the one on the left was spouting the same old “foundation of civilization blah blah blah” crap. “GAWWWWWD made marriage between one man and one woman.”
Oh puleeze, Mary! Your spook-in-the-sky not only condoned marriage between one man and many women, but also looked the other way when rape and incest were involved. Traditional Family Values? You can keep yer family values if they look like that. Another favorite talking-point of Mr. Stink-Eye was, “No one is preventing them from getting married as long as they marry a woman.”
At that point I was ready to hurl some chicken Caesar in his direction, and if I had not been alone I would’ve gotten up and schooled the lot of ‘em.
Posted in Gay Marriage, General Human Stupidity | 8 Comments »
Posted in Photography | 4 Comments »
I’ve always felt like a bit of an outsider. One of my earliest memories was of sitting in our living room, drawing or playing one afternoon, when all of a sudden this image of earth floating in space (long before anyone had actually seen the earth in space) came to me and with it a profound, gut-wrenching sense of sadness and isolation. I mean, here I was, living on this rock that was floating in the middle of nowhere, alone and cut off from everything I’d known and loved. This image hit me so hard I remembered that I crawled up on my dad’s lap and started crying. “What’s wrong?” he asked. I couldn’t tell him. A three year old does not possess the vocabulary necessary to convey the emotions that quite unexpectedly were washing over me.

1961, on a rock in the middle of nowhere
Sounds like as good a case for reincarnation as any, and further suggesting that we do not always incarnate on Earth…
While this sense of isolation eventually passed, I never really did “fit in” while growing up. No matter the subject or situation, I always found myself on the outside looking in. This hasn’t bothered me that much; I have always seemed to find like-minded souls to share my journey, but it has presented its problems.
I hated sports, and at least at first I wasn’t one of the brightest or most outgoing kids. While I liked science, I struggled with English and math. History befuddled me. It wasn’t until 7th grade—through the encouragement of my home room teacher whom I know look back on as being the best instructor I ever had—that I actually started getting good at writing. Math was still a problem, but the rest of my subjects were finally starting to fall into place. My grades dramatically improved and soon I was wearing the mantle of classroom geek.
It was like someone had thrown a switch. My voice wasn’t the only thing that changed that year. One of the first things this teacher did was to have the class pair off and sit in chairs facing each other. We were supposed to take each other’s hands and stare into each other’s eyes for a full minute and then write about the experience. Wouldn’t you know—quite by accident—I ended up pairing up with a new kid, a guy who was soon to become one of the school’s most renowned jocks: Randy Robinson. Tall, blond, blue-eyed and very good-looking, he was the kind of guy who under normal circumstances wouldn’t have given me the time of day, but here we were, paired off and staring into each other’s eyes.
I didn’t have a word for it, but I had known for several years prior to this (my fourth grade P.E. coach—an ex-marine built like a brick outhouse—provided hours of masturbatory fantasies) that I was attracted to boys and not girls. But it was only when Randy and I were sitting there, hands clasped together and knees touching I first felt that spark of sexual electricity flow between myself and another person.
To be honest, I seriously doubt Randy shared this feeling (he later started dating a good female friend of mine), and to this day, I don’t know if it was Miss Jones’ intention, but from that point on, we were the best of friends. As the school year wore on, and I came into my geekdom, Randy always had my back, defending me against the hateful barbs that were inevitably shot my way by the other jocks.
High School afforded me a fresh start, an opportunity to more or less be who I wanted without all the baggage that had accompanied me through grade and middle school. I didn’t have to be the class geek any more, and judging from the competition I faced in that department, I was more than willing to give up the mantle.
And finally, thanks to a photo essay in Life magazine, I now had a name to describe some of this feeling of being “other.” It was called gay.
Despite falling in love several times during high school, I never publicly came out. I learned my freshman year that professing love for another boy will sooner end your friendship than get you laid. I get the sense that things are somewhat different today, but back in the early 70s, it was the kiss of death.
It wasn’t until I went away to college that I finally got up the nerve rip those hinges off the wardrobe door. It was messy, dramatic, and wholly, completely liberating. Words were exchanged and tears shed, but ultimately the admiration and support I’d always received from my family returned in full force, and on the whole I found the world a whole lot more accepting than I’d expected. (Of course, at the same time I wasn’t going to take any shit from anyone about my lifestyle, so maybe people just picked up on that and got the sense not to make it an issue.) As I got more and more into the gay “scene,” I started feeling like I’d finally found a home in that “differentness.”
But here I am, seven years into the 21st Century, once again feeling very much the “other.” This time it isn’t sexually, because being gay isn’t even an issue any more. “Been there, done that, got the T-shirt.” This time it’s from a strictly human standpoint. I look around at things happening politically and culturally, both within this country and in the world at large and I think, “Has the entire planet gone insane?” Black is white, up is down, wrong is right, Paris Hilton is considered talented, and NO ONE is willing to accept responsibility for anything.
While not all of the world’s ills can be laid at the foot of the Smirking Chimp, a good portion of them clearly can be. And though impeachment of Cheney and Bush won’t solve all of humanity’s ills, it’s at least a start. It will at minimum show the rest of the world that the people of the United States are ready to correct our mistakes and accept responsibility for the horrific acts that have been committed in our name over the past six years.
I had high hopes that this new Congress would step up to the task, but unless they get off their assess and do their Constitutional duty, I fear more than ever all hope for the future being better—or at least any future that does not contain war without end—is gone.
(Originally Published 28 January 2007.)
Posted in Growing Up | 3 Comments »